Tuesday, January 28, 2003

Holy Cow

This story is simply amazing.

My favorite part was: “We asked him how long he could hold on, and he said, ‘I can hold on as long as it takes.’

When you read the story, it'll all make sense.

Monday, January 27, 2003

Have the winds of change begun to blow?

A judge has upheld murder charges against a woman accused of killing the fetus of a romantic rival, rejecting defense arguments that Pennsylvania's fetal homicide law conflicts with abortion rights.

I hope this is a Good Thing (tm).

Is it just me?

Or does 2.1 million for a 30 second ad during the Super Bowl seem a bit excessive?

And I don't just say this because most of the commercials were really boring/uninteresting.

Friday, January 24, 2003

What's next?

The Swap. I can only imagine what people are going to come up with next. What I don't get is why people are so fascinated with this sort of television.


Nihil Obstat has me listed as officially "Zzz".

I wish this were the case, but lately I've been getting very little sleep indeed.

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

Interesting article

Cheating Uncle Sam for Mom and Dad

Aside from the quote from Peter Singer (by the way, I can only guess what his decision would be), it's a good read IMO.

Monday, January 20, 2003

Do I love God?

Lately I've had to ask myself that question numerous times. Rather than struggle with my belief in Him, I have a hard time understanding His ways. Yah yah, I know the whole "His ways can be mysterious" thing and that sometimes things just don't make much sense to us mortals not being privy to the whole divine plan and all. I also know the whole "Problem of Pain" as C.S. Lewis refers to it and I've got to admit that to me, the impossibility of death and suffering in a material universe is a logical impossibility, the two seem to go hand in hand.

Sometimes though, I've just got to question though why God bothered at all if this was what was in-store for us from the get-go? Good people die, they suffer and often-times waste away from diseases that suck every ounce of dignity away before finally, mercifully (yah right) end their lives. This is what happened to my grandfather. A man who loved to work, who thought the word "retirement" meant "the day I die". He was the embodiement of the sheep found in Matthew 25:32-46. He gave and never asked in return... quite often he never got anything back in return and it never bothered him one iota. What got him? 11 years of cancer, finally invading his spine and forcing him to be hopsital bed-ridden. He dies while the doctors, long knowing that his cancer was incurable (though not telling anyone of this fact), forced him to undergo radiation and chemo treatments during a harsh winter, live. Not only that, they live richer now thanks to the money my grandfather had to pay for his treatments. Yes, justice was served.

I know that the Bible predicts hard times for us, especially (it seems) for those of us who try to obey. Whether this was some sort of perverse gift God bestowed to my grandfather (someone mentioned that perhaps my grandfather went right to heaven because of his suffering here on earth, making any further purgation unnecessary), I'm not sure. I can hardly follow His logic and frankly right now I don't really want to.

To sit and reflect on the fact that my grandfather will no longer be a part of my life, except for what pictures, memories and memento's I have of/from him is a hard thing to accept. To know what he meant to other people, as well of how he molded me as a person, and know that that influence is now diminished because his presence can be no longer, is an extremely frustrating thing. Not a day goes by when I don't think of him and when I do I cannot help but cry about my loss.

For this I think God is a bastard. I can honestly say that if God came back to earth today, rather than drop to my knees in homage I'd walk up to Him and punch Him in the face. Oddly enough, even with these feelings, I have found a strange consolation during the Mass. Not so that I may bask in the glow of His gracious goodness, but because I can see Him on that altar and converse with Him, letting Him know how much I currently hate Him.

Oh, I suppose people will say that I'll eventually get over this, and perhaps I will. Perhaps it's just the fact that I was *ahem* lucky enough to not experience any deaths in my immediate family for the past two decades and I'm taking this harder than I should. Who the f*** knows, who the f*** really cares?

Friday, January 10, 2003

Yes, it has been a long time since I last posted, but then again, it had been a very busy and a very rough time. Sadly, one December 14th, 2002 at 10:53pm my grandpa passed away after a very long fight (11 years worth of struggle) with cancer.

However, I shall return to blogging shortly... if anyone still remains. :)

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